Ecuador holds Amazon for ransom, World to pay

A barrier and moat, patrolled by guards, have been constructed around the Ecuadorian Amazon.

Quito- In a bold attempt to use the Ecuadorian amazon rain forest for something useful, officials in Ecuador have decided to hold it for ransom, to the World.  Asking for £3.6 billion to not destroy their own pristine national park for oil extraction, environmental affairs director Alfredo Lopez said, “It is simple.  You pay us, and we don’t ravage the amazon”.

In 2007, the UN opened talks regarding Amazonian protection with Ecuadorian officials.  Notorious for their laziness and lack of work ethic, Ecuador saw the opportunity to use climate change concerns to their benefit.  “It would have been so much work and trouble to actually ruin the forest ourselves, and the money would have taken years to trickle through oil related business.  This agreement is much easier for us”, said Lopez.

The agreement has also gained the backing of many environmental organisations around the world.  “This really shows how powerful inaction can be”, said Diane Ronbik, Director of the DoNothing campaign.  “We have long said that doing less, in fact barely moving, is the best way to lower carbon footprints and therefore mitigate climate change.  The Ecuadorians have really taken our ethos on board”.

While not yet finalised, the ransom is expected to be paid to Ecuadorian authorities.  However, it remains unclear what future visiting rights the rest of the world will have to the region.


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