Egypt’s Government in Pocket of Powerful Tear Gas Lobby

Morsi making the moneys

Wagging the dog, tear gas drives Egypt controversy

Documents leaked earlier this week show numerous financial transactions to top-level government officials in the Morsi administration.  Transactions originated from at least four different offshore shell companies, all believed to be linked to the powerful global tear gas lobby.  In 2012, over 30 million canisters of teargas are estimated to have been unleashed on protestors across the nation, at least twice as much as in 2011.

“Egypt has been in a cloud of tear gas for nearly two years and now we know why!” remarked an angry youth organizer to a crowd of students near Tahrir Square.  “We must continue to protest and show the government that instability is the new normal.  Until the teargas stops there will be no peace!”

Defense Minister and armed forces commander General Abdel Fattah al-Sisi stated, “The political, economic and social challenges facing the country could only be reined in with a comprehensive tear gas campaign”.  In 2011 alone, documents show the Defense Minister to have received over 200,000 US dollars from tear gas lobbies.

“The tear gas lobby is clearly driving policy in Egypt,” said regional expert Sandy Bernstein of the Middle East Alliance, a regional thought vessel.  “Morsi declares a state of emergency, and tear gas company stocks sky rocket.  Coincidence?”.

Despite the controversy it has not been bad all around.  Johnson and Johnson recently announced large profits in 2012, driven by unexpectedly enormous sales of Visine in Greece and Egypt.  However, there appears to be no sign of the tears abating for Egypt any time soon.

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