Feelings of Elation Muted, as Realization Sets in That Manager is in Fact Not Choking to Death

Bridgewater – Monday afternoon could have been what some have described in this call centre as, “a brilliant start to the week.” But for the unlucky fourth floor, Brian Baxter, a manager of more than 7-years here at Walley-Waxton Outsourcing Centre, had not completely choked to death during his lunch break. “I’d seen him go red in the face, his usual vitriolic and minorly racist banter had quieted,” said Darlein Hurst, a receptionist. “No one moved, but he was clearly choking on something.”

Medics called to the scene described the event as a near-miss, stating that Mr. Baxter, a deeply disdained manager at the organisation, had choked on a piece of chicken bone, caused by eating and talking at the same time. “We see these cases from time to time,” said medic Andrew Wilt, “but I’ve never seen a case where not one single person even attempted to help the victim… Mr. Baxter was lucky today.”

The afternoon was described as more dull and difficult than a typical Monday as word spread that Mr. Baxter nearly but not successfully choked to death, and would likely not miss more than a day of work.